A wild horse stands tall and calm while shadows from the clouds above move across his frame . Uneven terrain outstretched for miles rugged and beautiful and flickering with warm tones of color . The definition of strength seen in the horse’s musculature speaks of a noble history . The beauty is elegant and somehow soothing to see .
You may run as you please dear wild one . Run and run with wind blowing through your mane . The power of your spirit echoing throughout fields and hills all around . The scents of pine and sage and the remnants of a sun filled day linger in the air as you choose your resting place for the long night ahead .
Star filled sky becoming visible and the lullaby songs of the night begin as you settle in beneath an ancient tree . Sweet rest dear wild one until the new adventure begins again ….
On the very day that we laid to rest one of our greatest human rights leaders of our time this :
I am a mom to a compassionate , intelligent young woman . Her kind and giving heart stands up for injustices against those with less privilege . People that suffer because of having less privileges and opportunities simply because of the color of their skin . I am of the same heart and mind as my daughter . Since early in my youth I have felt the call to stand up for human rights , protesting peacefully , writing letters to legislators , volunteering and …listening . And today my daughter faced the ugliness of hatred because of her values and principles . She has Black Lives Matter written on the back window of her car . She has other pro human rights sentiments on her window as well .
Today , of all days , someone chose to threaten her life because of it . A man chose to follow her off of a freeway exit , he sped up along side of her and turned his vehicle inwards towards her car as if to ram her and to force her off of the road . A life threatening action that could have been catastrophe with irreversible results . And all because he did not like her opinions . He violently opposed her values . His risked her life as well the lives of others by his actions .
Here we are America . Threatening each other over human rights . Over what it means to be considered a human being . Wiling to end another persons life because she or he stands up for social justice . It’s time to give birth to a new USA .
The process is painful . My hope is that what is taking place now with the violence against peaceful protests and individuals is like the birthing process . It is a struggle . It is painful and it is violent . And at the other side of it a more just , equitable and compassionate country .
The people fighting against the changes have caught the disease of hatred and fear . Desperation has taken hold of them . They are entangled within their own chains . How might we set them free from the hate ?
In the darkness of such hate we must be the light . Carry a peaceful heart and in the words of Mr.Lewis ” make good trouble ” .
Stamina called forward and on some days it barely stays . It does stay though and thankfully so . Choose to do a new action when it seems as if it might slip away and entice it to return . Deep sigh I can go on now with stamina by by side .
Purpose in each day is a search and rescue mission now . There are days when it appears with grace and ease and oh what a delight That is . And then the days arrive that attempt to steal the joy with the murmurings of lack and questions of now what ?
Gratitude has grown because it’s heard more easily now in the quieter days and nights of a society partly in mourning . The voice of a loved one might visit uplifting the spirit like a bountiful , beautiful garden . It’s the magnificent single moments that linger in the heart. Thankfully the smiles can still be felt and the kindness of stamina remains .
How does the adventurer’s soul and spontaneous spirit strive to survive now ? Wings feeling clipped . The physical freedom to roam that used to bring the spontaneous wanderings of the mind and soul now halted . How to replenish and refresh perspectives while staring at the same walls ?
There is a requirement for rest in order to turn around the stress and yet ….the mind is thinking , thinking , thinking . “What’s next ?”
Longing for the days of preparing for a trip . Being ready for the airport or a long road trip . The joy , the excitement of embracing the unknown as much as the known . Feeling safe in the idea that any detours or unforeseen threats would be visible and therefore manageable on any trip . Now it’s invisible and could threaten your life .
The aloneness of solitary travels can set you on course for recognizing love in the connections to all life forces . It can teach you who you are and return you to the precious threads of human connection .
When you step off of an airplane onto unfamiliar ground are you calmed by the new? And excited to begin anew ?
Oh Dear World , I miss you now during Covid 19 . The images on a screen bring little solace because I know you all are struggling too . Our sight will surely be altered by this time of loss and distress . It is an opportunity beyond the anguish .
Will we rise ?
Every day I am awake just before the light . I hear the silence and gather it around me like a blanket and snuggle it tight . And then with a mind partly in this world and partly in dream world I think .
I think about the day ahead . No plans that I can see due to the pandemic and then I ask myself like being given a test ” What day of the week is this ?” . And when I know it right away it’s a gold star for me I say . It’s a fleeting moment of delight and then comes the next question . What shall I do with this day ?
Walk and then walk again . Rest and walk and move into those things that you’ve dreamt of having time for . You have all of this time now but all of this time will run out I say to myself …again and again .
Living alone while covid 19 changes the world forces emotions to the surface and
brings a new focus to the smallest delights . The aloneness is magnified from what is was
before . Suddenly those solitary evenings that seemed to go on for too long and could be
soothed into comfort with the knowing that in the morning it would be whisked away with
commotion was gone . The commotion of being busy and surrounded and connected to other
people gone . Now walking along a trail in a park , mask covered mouth and nose while
passing from a distance a mother and child and suddenly a small child’s smile takes on a
whole new meaning . Noticing the little things like we did when we were children but now
there’s no rush to be at work or to get home to bed for a speedy night’s sleep . The aloneness
before had it’s challenges too though back then there was hope of a plan or a visit or busy work
day to carry through to relief or comfort .
The phone calls and text messages become a lifeline . Each one opening the way to
connecting to our shared plight and to our humanity and our hope .
The tension builds beneath the surface silently . Moment by moment without
entirely knowing that it’s there the layers of uncertainty and loneliness are building shelves
inside of you. And the beautiful , unexpected miracles of noticing an innocent smile or the
kindness of a stranger or the vibrant colors of the sky and my heart swells with a love from
before my existence . A love that has carried us through all of time . Tears well up in my eyes .
Is it the striking aloneness that I feel or the love that is so deep for all of life that makes it so the
tears must flow . When sleep finally comes it’s comfort is a delight and in the morning the hope
and the search for the little things will begin again .
I awake to dreams of being in beautiful places . Imaginings and heart wanderings removed
from staidness . Places where healthy streams , cool and clear , sparkling in the light flow .
Leading from a mountain top where strong , blue green grasses grow and the wildness of the
flowers are free to be . Then to the meadows as the heart leads and where the mountain met
the world . It’s graceful expanse calls out with it’s charms and winds singing hymns . A few
horses run wild and free as family and all of the while holding their own . Their power is love
and fearless wisdom even more than the massive muscles carrying them on . My heart goes
along with them for as long as it can and until I’m back in a sleep meant for