Where is the next step ? Going on exploratory trips inside the mind and the emotions and expecting an answer . The anchors are few and seem related only to material and practical parameters . Why ? Why is the clarity so elusive ? Seeking change and not knowing where it is . All the while placing the burden of healing underneath the desire for change . Will the change create the opening for healing to continue , to expand ?
Thinking that the lack of clarity was simply tied into some universal timing . Reminding myself that acceptance is a powerful tool rather than pure passivity . That giving oneself over to acceptance can actually bring freedom . Freedom that brings action . And onward we go !
Still feeling as if caught inside of a struggle somehow and yet so close to knowing . Knowing what to do next . I stood at the water’s edge , looking out , and feeling a chill . The sky was filled with shades of grey blue hues and dramatic movement . Far off it look to be restless and stormy .
Then a thought came . It is I that is holding back the change . It is , both , fear and comfort . It is I that is holding onto what is already known rather than embracing the unknown . It is within my heart and within my thoughts that keeps me still … for now anyway .
In the deep quiet of the night there used to live an endless invitation to set your spirit to soaring . A time set aside for discovery and an opportunity to break the boldest or the most mysterious bonds holding onto you .
Now in the dead of the night are the children . Children that did not ask for this life . Children being criminalized simply for being alive . Children being whisked through airports like some strange secret , like a lie .
The wailing , the visceral sounds of the wailing of the innocent babes and their Mamas being torn apart will follow these men in charge to their graves . They don’t know it yet . But it will . Haunting a spirit for evermore will be the suffering caused by the deeds of men with no heart and no soul .
I’ve learned that it does not suit me too well to sit in the quiet of hope but , rather , to be in the wild of it . This is not to say that there isn’t great value in quieting the mind . There is , there truly is . There are those delicious times when hope lives it’s mightiest in the doing , in the wild side , the wild side of hope .