Where is the next step ? Going on exploratory trips inside the mind and the emotions and expecting an answer . The anchors are few and seem related only to material and practical parameters . Why ? Why is the clarity so elusive ? Seeking change and not knowing where it is . All the while placing the burden of healing underneath the desire for change . Will the change create the opening for healing to continue , to expand ?
Thinking that the lack of clarity was simply tied into some universal timing . Reminding myself that acceptance is a powerful tool rather than pure passivity . That giving oneself over to acceptance can actually bring freedom . Freedom that brings action . And onward we go !
Still feeling as if caught inside of a struggle somehow and yet so close to knowing . Knowing what to do next . I stood at the water’s edge , looking out , and feeling a chill . The sky was filled with shades of grey blue hues and dramatic movement . Far off it look to be restless and stormy .
Then a thought came . It is I that is holding back the change . It is , both , fear and comfort . It is I that is holding onto what is already known rather than embracing the unknown . It is within my heart and within my thoughts that keeps me still … for now anyway .
It seems to be time to let go . The barriers built so silently in a moment here and years stretching out there . The heart seeks it’s freedom and it is in the willingness to be seen and felt that the freedom lives .
In the tears that didn’t get hugged away in healing will come a new breath . Vulnerability worn with honor and fearlessness in acceptance of the imperfect spirit learning this dance .
Leap , rest , twirl , rest . Always bringing love into the dance .
A dream tucked snugly into one’s heart and waiting . Waiting until there is a sudden , beautiful click signaling that different necessary elements have come together to breathe life into the dream .
Can you see it in your mind’s eye ? The dream that excites you and carries you through the moments of wondering ” Is his all there is ? ” And even those moments are fleeting and precious and will become a layer in the dream in your heart.
And a doubt ..or two may arrive like a wave . Washing over you and asking for your attention . A small detail held in your hand may become the whole world in your thoughts.
The dream carried in your heart came with you into this world and waits for you .
Walking swiftly past a person clinging to thread bare clothes . Slow your steps a bit this time and see in the mirror . It’s another version of you . The bank card in your wallet or purse opens doors for you and well deserved , we know . The man , woman or child holding the sign that reads ” Please help ” has entered a place , perhaps , foreign to you . A wrong step and all support is gone if it was ever there at all .
Human to human and heart to heart . It goes by in a flash .
Forgive the person huddled and hand outstretched and forgive yourself if you can’t understand .
The warmth of gathering oneself and welcoming a quiet rest and all the while a piece of my spirit roams free . Moving along and suddenly the beloved moon catches hold of me . A magnetic attraction and a timeless song to the soul bringing one home .
The moon calls to a place of infinite wisdom and I off I go to the water’s edge again and again . It both soothes and ignites restlessness . The power of creation waiting for it’s moment to be born and looking to the moon for release and recognition . It befriends your mysteries and holds them dear .
The light that is sought will be found in the soothing , quiet of the dark .