In the wild , amid ancient trees holding stories of the magic and of the tragedy of life , is a stillness . A beautiful , deep stillness . It is where the wisdom from ancestors may surface . It is where forgotten dreams come to to visit and where the knowing of love , pure and free from ego , expands into it’s gentle power of eternity .
In the wild , amid the star filled sky , cares of tomorrow float up and away making space for a peaceful heart and sweet sleep . The moments are alive and true . Uncomplicated and wondrous , they are alive travel through time , offering songs that only a soul may hear .
Love and acceptance , I have thinking of these two things recently . As in love oneself enough so as to not accept being diminished by someone else’s hurtful words or behavior’s . As in feeling tenderness or general love towards strangers . The homeless person so clearly need in of support and kindness or the exuberant person driving the commuter bus for example .
WE are all in need of love and to feel acceptance . That is simply universal . So that having being said I am truly baffled by hostility , coldness and harshness projected towards one another . I am well aware of the fact that we , each of us , carries a story in our hearts . Stories with wounds , profound , life changing wounds and rather than allowing those wounds to separate us could unite us in our shared humanity . And while of us need a certain amount of time alone we thrive from sharing our selves and from exchanging kindness , compassion , laughter and tears .
Born lovingly then instantly removed . Six weeks later in a home with a mother unaccustomed to affection and unconditional love . Dear heart she did not know . I loved her freely and as if she were my own . The thought of a wound in my heart from birth did not cross my thoughts . Ever.
Fifty years , and then some , have passed and It is now that I am choosing to cross a threshold into fearless exploration and acceptance of a wound in my heart from birth .
To know that a fierce and passionate love for my whole being is the means by which the empty space in my heart will be healed . The friend , the romance and the adventure are magnificent pieces of the whole and the only completion of filling the space in my heart must come from the fiercest and most courageous love imaginable and it must come from me .
The comfort of silence may be a very loving space . Beyond the fear , beyond the doubts it will slowly welcome you and ease away the burdens of commotion on the run . It becomes like the stillness offered by a winter’s snow . A bit worrisome at first and then as you surrender to it’s beauty , it’s quietness your muscles begin to relax . Thoughts are calm and the desire to be cozy with our mind , body and spirit as one is welcome and , perhaps , a relief .
What do you hear in the quiet ? In the silence ? Do you hear your dreams and remember what love means ?
Going into the silence is it’s own reward . A freedom as well as an exploration . One and the same . The cage is fear and we easily build our cages out of noise . The fear of hearing our longings and of recognizing wounds placed upon us by others . We must love our wounds in order to free them and we only hear them in the silence . I am learning to love the silence as it guides me to learning to love myself .
I surrender to the passions and longing of the creative processes planted in my spirit . The seeds planted long ago before I knew myself and before I knew the freedom of surrender .
She calls to me at all hours and asks only that I listen . And when I listen I am moved to create and to give and to explore . Step outside of what you’ve grown accustomed to and outside of judgment placed upon you and travel inside the the infinite spaces of your heart .
See the stars and bright lights of planets set into motion before you were a whisper …or were you a whisper in the life of a star and now here you are .
The beauty in your kindness echoes throughout the ages and the love that flows freely from your heart is felt throughout the world beyond any measurement known to man .
Ease into a dream . A dream of your creation where the serendipitous moments flow and wisdom rises to the surface after looking at the stars . It is a beautiful inward journey with layer upon layer of love and restlessness , forgiveness and expansiveness .
Move through a dream where limits , like a cage , are dissolved by the mind and where freedom is forever present in each beat of the heart .
The dream , pure in it’s simplicity , and with out boundaries to war over is releasing you from anguish . Imagine the single deep breath that brings you into life . It sets you free again and again .
The comfort and courage of dreaming the wild road into being will sing your heart into freedom .
Where is the next step ? Going on exploratory trips inside the mind and the emotions and expecting an answer . The anchors are few and seem related only to material and practical parameters . Why ? Why is the clarity so elusive ? Seeking change and not knowing where it is . All the while placing the burden of healing underneath the desire for change . Will the change create the opening for healing to continue , to expand ?
Thinking that the lack of clarity was simply tied into some universal timing . Reminding myself that acceptance is a powerful tool rather than pure passivity . That giving oneself over to acceptance can actually bring freedom . Freedom that brings action . And onward we go !
Still feeling as if caught inside of a struggle somehow and yet so close to knowing . Knowing what to do next . I stood at the water’s edge , looking out , and feeling a chill . The sky was filled with shades of grey blue hues and dramatic movement . Far off it look to be restless and stormy .
Then a thought came . It is I that is holding back the change . It is , both , fear and comfort . It is I that is holding onto what is already known rather than embracing the unknown . It is within my heart and within my thoughts that keeps me still … for now anyway .