A new life arrives . She is given away . Is the first experience of this life one of trauma ? Aside from the one of leaving a safe womb does the separation from her beginnings of life impact her sense of comfort and trust ?
She is born with a trusting heart no matter the circumstances . She loves deeply , so deeply that it surprises even her .
Welcomed into a home , into a family , that wants to be what it is not . There is love . There is love that battles within itself and with it’s own brokenness . Her love , in innocence , rises to the surface in moments of celebration . Like when she awakens first thing every morning , before opening her eyes , then is a joyous smile across her face. Did her soul choose to know the indescribable ache while also choosing to carry a joy filled heart and an ever replenishing trust ? The brokenness of the family integrated more trauma into her original wound and in quietness she finds a healer , herself . Did her soul choose ?
And in her quietness she sometimes dreams of knowing wholeness . Enchanted by the sight of the moon and the stars she finds a sense of rootedness in them . And when she is near water and it’s powerful timelessness then she feels held by the breath of all life past , present and future .
Late afternoon sun inspiring a drive to the water’s edge . The coolness in the air nearly stopped a walk on the beach . It was a day that could have been early spring or fall . The light from the sun was diffused by clouds and yet also giving a comforting warmth in the breezes .
I stopped at a bench and sat for a bit . It was low tide though the water seemed to be coming back in . Small waves on top of small waves and the light shimmering and dancing along the water’s surface . Looking out and looking in as I sometimes call it . Looking beyond the day’s events and freeing one’s mind .
It was just then that I noticed a bird sitting atop of a piling , exposed by low tide , out in the water . Looking more intently I reared that it wasn’t just any bird but rather an Eagle . I remained for a bit longer . I began hoping that I’d get to witness his flight and just as I stood up to go this wonderful bird took flight from his perch .
He soared with such grace and beauty . I stood watching , taking it in , and whispering ” thank you .”
Early evening standing near the shore and watching the water rolling in . It feels like an act of witnessing , simply witnessing , on this very fine night . Occasional bits of life from the Sea or man left on the sand . Will it be natural or will it be a harm ?
Early evening standing near the shore , feeling the strength of the Sea , and inviting myself to step back from the outer bits of life that call to us to be small . There is freedom in a roar and peace as it recedes .
Not knowing what will be discovered as the depths of the living spirit rise to the surface but giving the uncertainty to trust is freedom as well . It is wise to move towards the unknowing since that is where the boundaries are released and heartfelt exploration takes place .