Category Archives: Free

Does a Soul Choose …

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A new life arrives . She is given away . Is the first experience of this life one of trauma ? Aside from the one of leaving a safe womb does the separation from her beginnings of life impact her sense of comfort and trust ?

She is born with a trusting heart no matter the circumstances . She loves deeply , so deeply that it surprises even her .

Welcomed into a home , into a family , that wants to be what it is not . There is love . There is love that battles within itself and with it’s own brokenness . Her love , in innocence , rises to the surface in moments of celebration . Like when she awakens first thing every morning , before opening her eyes , then is a joyous smile across her face. Did her soul choose to know the indescribable ache while also choosing to carry a joy filled heart and an ever replenishing trust ? The brokenness of the family integrated more trauma into her original wound and in quietness she finds a healer , herself . Did her soul choose ?

And in her quietness she sometimes dreams of knowing wholeness . Enchanted by the sight of the moon and the stars she finds a sense of rootedness in them . And when she is near water and it’s powerful timelessness then she feels held by the breath of all life past , present and future .

Giving Birth to a New USA

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On the very day that we laid to rest one of our  greatest human rights leaders of our time this :

I am a mom to a compassionate ,  intelligent young woman .  Her kind and giving heart stands up for injustices against those with less privilege  . People  that suffer because of having  less privileges  and opportunities  simply because of the color of their skin .  I am of the same heart  and mind as my daughter .  Since early in my youth I have felt the call to stand up for human rights , protesting peacefully , writing  letters to legislators , volunteering  and …listening .  And today my daughter faced the ugliness of hatred  because  of her values and principles   . She has Black Lives Matter written on the  back window of her car . She has other pro human rights sentiments  on her window as well .

Today , of all days ,  someone  chose to threaten her life because of it . A man chose to follow her off of a freeway exit , he sped up along side of her and turned  his vehicle inwards towards  her car  as if to ram her and to force her off of the road .  A life threatening action that could  have been catastrophe with   irreversible results .  And all because he did not like her opinions . He violently opposed her  values . His risked her  life as well the lives of others by his actions .

Here we are America . Threatening each other  over human rights . Over what it means to be considered a human being .  Wiling to end another persons life because she or he stands up for social justice .  It’s time to give birth to a new USA .

The process is painful .  My hope is that what is taking place now with the violence against peaceful protests and individuals  is like the birthing process .  It is  a struggle . It is painful and it is violent . And at the other side of it a more just , equitable  and compassionate country .

The people fighting against the changes have caught the disease of hatred and fear . Desperation  has taken hold of them .  They are entangled within their own chains . How might we set them free from the hate ?

In the darkness of such hate we must be the light .  Carry a peaceful heart and in the words of Mr.Lewis ” make  good trouble ” .

 

 

The Man in the Tower Hiding

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A comet soaring through the sky  wishing  away worries from the earth below .

It’s only for  moment .

Fires of the quest for justice burn ….and burn .

And those few that are untouched and are  so far away from the pain just scold .

And blame .

The man in the tower hiding  the darkness behind false  whiteness   steals souls and

glows red .

And tosses raw flesh to his spectators .

Unrealized is the relentless power of the will to do right . It won’t stop .

The birth of reawakening in the heart and spirit of  warriors  in our streets come

together as one .

This battle is not done .

 

Above the Gases

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How to see through the smoke ?

Soldiers in streets uninvited ,  The people rising . Higher  than gases .

Division , is it’s fate to become unified ?

Human history as a recipe repeated .

We will take back our sovereignty .

 

Oh Dear World , I Miss you

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How does the adventurer’s  soul  and spontaneous spirit strive to survive  now ?   Wings feeling clipped .  The physical freedom to roam that used to bring the spontaneous  wanderings of the mind and soul now halted .   How to replenish and refresh perspectives while staring at the same walls ?

There is a requirement for rest in order to turn around the stress and yet ….the mind is thinking , thinking , thinking . “What’s next ?”

Longing for the days of preparing for a trip . Being ready for the airport or a long road trip . The joy , the excitement  of embracing the unknown as much as the known . Feeling safe in the idea that any detours or unforeseen  threats would be visible and therefore manageable on any trip . Now it’s invisible and could threaten your life .

The aloneness of  solitary travels can set you on course for recognizing  love in the connections to all life forces .  It can teach you who you are and return you to the precious threads of human connection .

When you step off of an airplane onto unfamiliar ground are you calmed by the new?   And excited to begin anew ?

Oh Dear World ,  I miss you now during Covid 19 .  The images on a screen  bring little solace because I know you all are struggling too . Our sight will surely be altered by this time of loss and distress .  It is an opportunity  beyond the anguish .

Will we rise ?

Tears are Not Enough . Period .

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Born white and free

and

in ways i did not see .

Until I became a latch key child  .

As I grew I rebelled against the white cocoon

and paid a price for it .

Not as dear  though as the price paid by African Americans

to simply live .

Or rather …not to live .

What good are my tears for you ? I must use my voice and body to join with yours .

Lead me through this battle with you

and

lets make lasting change .

Aloneness During Covid 19

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Living alone while covid 19 changes the world forces emotions to the surface and

brings a new focus to  the smallest delights .  The aloneness is magnified from what is was

before .  Suddenly those solitary evenings that seemed to go on for too long and  could be

soothed into comfort  with the knowing that in the morning it would be whisked away with

commotion  was gone . The commotion  of being busy and surrounded and connected to other

people  gone . Now   walking along a trail in a park , mask covered mouth and nose while

passing  from a distance  a mother and child and suddenly a small child’s smile takes on a

whole new meaning .  Noticing the little things like we did when we were children but now

there’s no rush to be at work or to get home to bed for a speedy night’s sleep . The aloneness

before had it’s challenges too though back then there was hope of a plan or a visit or busy work

day to carry through to relief or comfort .

The phone calls and text messages become a lifeline .  Each one opening the way to

connecting to our shared plight and to our humanity and our  hope .

The tension builds  beneath the surface silently . Moment by moment without

entirely knowing that it’s there the layers of uncertainty and loneliness  are building shelves

inside of you.  And  the beautiful , unexpected miracles of noticing an innocent smile or the

kindness of a stranger or the vibrant colors of the sky and my heart swells with a love from

before my existence  . A  love that has carried us through all of time . Tears well up in my eyes .

Is it the striking aloneness that I feel or the love that is so deep for all of life that makes it so  the

tears must flow .  When sleep finally comes it’s comfort is a delight and in the morning the hope

and the search for the little things will begin again .

 

 

Mon Coeur

Comfort in the Quiet

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The spring has come and knowing little of our human fright it sings . It beckons .  It dances with delight .   It must sense it’s new found freedom .  I wonder . Does nature now feel it’s man made noose loosened ?  The song birds sing more sweetly and the trees  less tense .  The quietness so soothing for  life to be able to breathe again that is for  all one but one .

The sadness presses against the quiet .  Love and the fragility  of human life are in each moment now . The breathtaking moments of courage and compassion rise and in-between  is  cherished laughter to lighten our hearts and carry us on .

The songs of Mother nature are freely sung now and her wild  animals live with less fear .  The people  that were trampling upon the sacredness  of life are the  ones seeking to return to what is gone .  To fight the flow of change is to create your own despair . And that heaviness hangs in the air .

The rustlings of the trees and the currents of the oceans shake me free from the weightiness of false designs .  Turn into the heart and release her songs into all of life and the freedom of knowingness will carry you onward .

In this Moment Here with Me

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We despair over the unknown and yet it is there that we are free . It could cage you

if thats what you choose or set you free to be

in this moment here with me .

We surrender to fear and like an expert jewel thief it robs us of life . It’s not the fear that guides and protects , but the one that steals your heart away .

We live so as to love and to love means to risk it all . Mind , heart and soul .

We despair over the losses of our loves . The family , friends and the  ones unknown to us that are suddenly gone  from life .

Left to our worries and left with our kind thoughts of hugs and laughter and of days shared in sunshine and in rain .

We touch each other’s  existence and must remember  that it is so much more .  It is not in judgement that lifts a life but in kindness that an eternal thread lives on .

In this moment here with me your life will live on .