Category Archives: heart

Does a Soul Choose …

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A new life arrives . She is given away . Is the first experience of this life one of trauma ? Aside from the one of leaving a safe womb does the separation from her beginnings of life impact her sense of comfort and trust ?

She is born with a trusting heart no matter the circumstances . She loves deeply , so deeply that it surprises even her .

Welcomed into a home , into a family , that wants to be what it is not . There is love . There is love that battles within itself and with it’s own brokenness . Her love , in innocence , rises to the surface in moments of celebration . Like when she awakens first thing every morning , before opening her eyes , then is a joyous smile across her face. Did her soul choose to know the indescribable ache while also choosing to carry a joy filled heart and an ever replenishing trust ? The brokenness of the family integrated more trauma into her original wound and in quietness she finds a healer , herself . Did her soul choose ?

And in her quietness she sometimes dreams of knowing wholeness . Enchanted by the sight of the moon and the stars she finds a sense of rootedness in them . And when she is near water and it’s powerful timelessness then she feels held by the breath of all life past , present and future .

Space for New Dreams

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The light is delicate tonight and the breezes cool. Someone not too far away is

listening to a soprano singing opera . The sounds drift faintly in the air as I watch the

evening light dance with with shadows before calling it a night .

It’s the sort of peaceful , summer night that soothes the soul and invites a restorative

rest .

New dreams are given space to arrive in the subtle , warm glow of the setting sun .

Giving Birth to a New USA

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On the very day that we laid to rest one of our  greatest human rights leaders of our time this :

I am a mom to a compassionate ,  intelligent young woman .  Her kind and giving heart stands up for injustices against those with less privilege  . People  that suffer because of having  less privileges  and opportunities  simply because of the color of their skin .  I am of the same heart  and mind as my daughter .  Since early in my youth I have felt the call to stand up for human rights , protesting peacefully , writing  letters to legislators , volunteering  and …listening .  And today my daughter faced the ugliness of hatred  because  of her values and principles   . She has Black Lives Matter written on the  back window of her car . She has other pro human rights sentiments  on her window as well .

Today , of all days ,  someone  chose to threaten her life because of it . A man chose to follow her off of a freeway exit , he sped up along side of her and turned  his vehicle inwards towards  her car  as if to ram her and to force her off of the road .  A life threatening action that could  have been catastrophe with   irreversible results .  And all because he did not like her opinions . He violently opposed her  values . His risked her  life as well the lives of others by his actions .

Here we are America . Threatening each other  over human rights . Over what it means to be considered a human being .  Wiling to end another persons life because she or he stands up for social justice .  It’s time to give birth to a new USA .

The process is painful .  My hope is that what is taking place now with the violence against peaceful protests and individuals  is like the birthing process .  It is  a struggle . It is painful and it is violent . And at the other side of it a more just , equitable  and compassionate country .

The people fighting against the changes have caught the disease of hatred and fear . Desperation  has taken hold of them .  They are entangled within their own chains . How might we set them free from the hate ?

In the darkness of such hate we must be the light .  Carry a peaceful heart and in the words of Mr.Lewis ” make  good trouble ” .

 

 

Tears are Not Enough . Period .

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Born white and free

and

in ways i did not see .

Until I became a latch key child  .

As I grew I rebelled against the white cocoon

and paid a price for it .

Not as dear  though as the price paid by African Americans

to simply live .

Or rather …not to live .

What good are my tears for you ? I must use my voice and body to join with yours .

Lead me through this battle with you

and

lets make lasting change .

Aloneness During Covid 19

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Living alone while covid 19 changes the world forces emotions to the surface and

brings a new focus to  the smallest delights .  The aloneness is magnified from what is was

before .  Suddenly those solitary evenings that seemed to go on for too long and  could be

soothed into comfort  with the knowing that in the morning it would be whisked away with

commotion  was gone . The commotion  of being busy and surrounded and connected to other

people  gone . Now   walking along a trail in a park , mask covered mouth and nose while

passing  from a distance  a mother and child and suddenly a small child’s smile takes on a

whole new meaning .  Noticing the little things like we did when we were children but now

there’s no rush to be at work or to get home to bed for a speedy night’s sleep . The aloneness

before had it’s challenges too though back then there was hope of a plan or a visit or busy work

day to carry through to relief or comfort .

The phone calls and text messages become a lifeline .  Each one opening the way to

connecting to our shared plight and to our humanity and our  hope .

The tension builds  beneath the surface silently . Moment by moment without

entirely knowing that it’s there the layers of uncertainty and loneliness  are building shelves

inside of you.  And  the beautiful , unexpected miracles of noticing an innocent smile or the

kindness of a stranger or the vibrant colors of the sky and my heart swells with a love from

before my existence  . A  love that has carried us through all of time . Tears well up in my eyes .

Is it the striking aloneness that I feel or the love that is so deep for all of life that makes it so  the

tears must flow .  When sleep finally comes it’s comfort is a delight and in the morning the hope

and the search for the little things will begin again .

 

 

Mon Coeur

In this Moment Here with Me

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We despair over the unknown and yet it is there that we are free . It could cage you

if thats what you choose or set you free to be

in this moment here with me .

We surrender to fear and like an expert jewel thief it robs us of life . It’s not the fear that guides and protects , but the one that steals your heart away .

We live so as to love and to love means to risk it all . Mind , heart and soul .

We despair over the losses of our loves . The family , friends and the  ones unknown to us that are suddenly gone  from life .

Left to our worries and left with our kind thoughts of hugs and laughter and of days shared in sunshine and in rain .

We touch each other’s  existence and must remember  that it is so much more .  It is not in judgement that lifts a life but in kindness that an eternal thread lives on .

In this moment here with me your life will live on .

Why the Earth Soothes the Brokenness

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Her charms are never ending .  Her power to delight an eternal story of love .

She challenges us and gifts us all at the same time .

The Earth and her inhabitants share breath as one .

And the when spirit feels stretched beyond the imaginable allotment  of pain she soothes us .

She soothes us with a light rain calming and delicate .

she soothes us with the joyous brightness of the sun warming and exciting .

She soothes us with the wildness of thunderstorms and setting our own wildness free .

She gifts us with so many things .

Every moment , every breath

Dear Earth

I thank you .

 

Comfort in Isolation

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As much as comfort can be found and nurtured in the reserves of inner strength  carried in your mind , heart and spirit alone , on your own , the connection to each other  is the infinite  thread of love and compassion .                                                                                                           That thread carries us through time . It carries us into difficulty and through it to the other side  into the  joy that is always there . The  celebration that lives and is  a single breath is our shared joy in life .                                                                                                                                                     We are staying apart in order to love life and to love each others  life . In loving life we are asked to face to fears and challenges of what it means to be alone with our selves .  In the quiet there is an opportunity  to hear and to heal the parts that are slow to open up to joy , the lightness of laughter and  compassion .  In a place of fear we can heal fear .  Inside of unconditional compassion is freedom .  Expansive , weightless freedom . It is love .

In the Wild

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In the wild ,  amid ancient trees holding stories of the magic and  of the tragedy of life , is a stillness .  A beautiful , deep stillness .  It is where the wisdom from ancestors may surface . It is where forgotten dreams come to to visit and where the knowing of love , pure and free from ego , expands into it’s gentle power of eternity .

In the wild ,  amid the  star filled sky ,  cares of tomorrow float up and away  making  space  for a peaceful  heart  and sweet sleep .  The moments are alive and true . Uncomplicated  and  wondrous , they are alive travel through time , offering songs that only a soul may hear .

Free to Roam

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Free  to roam as the pieces that once baffled and brought tears of questions

roll over . Rolling over like the swells of ocean waves .

Transforming from a silent , soulful burden or thunderous , passionate outpouring

into wings open wide and strong .  Soaring beautifully with the breezes ,  playfully diving

downward then swiftly upward once again .

The heart once again free to roam .