Love and acceptance , I have thinking of these two things recently . As in love oneself enough so as to not accept being diminished by someone else’s hurtful words or behavior’s . As in feeling tenderness or general love towards strangers . The homeless person so clearly need in of support and kindness or the exuberant person driving the commuter bus for example .
WE are all in need of love and to feel acceptance . That is simply universal . So that having being said I am truly baffled by hostility , coldness and harshness projected towards one another . I am well aware of the fact that we , each of us , carries a story in our hearts . Stories with wounds , profound , life changing wounds and rather than allowing those wounds to separate us could unite us in our shared humanity . And while of us need a certain amount of time alone we thrive from sharing our selves and from exchanging kindness , compassion , laughter and tears .
The comfort of silence may be a very loving space . Beyond the fear , beyond the doubts it will slowly welcome you and ease away the burdens of commotion on the run . It becomes like the stillness offered by a winter’s snow . A bit worrisome at first and then as you surrender to it’s beauty , it’s quietness your muscles begin to relax . Thoughts are calm and the desire to be cozy with our mind , body and spirit as one is welcome and , perhaps , a relief .
What do you hear in the quiet ? In the silence ? Do you hear your dreams and remember what love means ?
Going into the silence is it’s own reward . A freedom as well as an exploration . One and the same . The cage is fear and we easily build our cages out of noise . The fear of hearing our longings and of recognizing wounds placed upon us by others . We must love our wounds in order to free them and we only hear them in the silence . I am learning to love the silence as it guides me to learning to love myself .
Where is the next step ? Going on exploratory trips inside the mind and the emotions and expecting an answer . The anchors are few and seem related only to material and practical parameters . Why ? Why is the clarity so elusive ? Seeking change and not knowing where it is . All the while placing the burden of healing underneath the desire for change . Will the change create the opening for healing to continue , to expand ?
Thinking that the lack of clarity was simply tied into some universal timing . Reminding myself that acceptance is a powerful tool rather than pure passivity . That giving oneself over to acceptance can actually bring freedom . Freedom that brings action . And onward we go !
Still feeling as if caught inside of a struggle somehow and yet so close to knowing . Knowing what to do next . I stood at the water’s edge , looking out , and feeling a chill . The sky was filled with shades of grey blue hues and dramatic movement . Far off it look to be restless and stormy .
Then a thought came . It is I that is holding back the change . It is , both , fear and comfort . It is I that is holding onto what is already known rather than embracing the unknown . It is within my heart and within my thoughts that keeps me still … for now anyway .
A dream tucked snugly into one’s heart and waiting . Waiting until there is a sudden , beautiful click signaling that different necessary elements have come together to breathe life into the dream .
Can you see it in your mind’s eye ? The dream that excites you and carries you through the moments of wondering ” Is his all there is ? ” And even those moments are fleeting and precious and will become a layer in the dream in your heart.
And a doubt ..or two may arrive like a wave . Washing over you and asking for your attention . A small detail held in your hand may become the whole world in your thoughts.
The dream carried in your heart came with you into this world and waits for you .
A dream of being in box . Vertical and tight fitting and wondering ” where is the key ? ” Then suddenly realizing that the key is on the outside of the box . A few days later I , rather absentmindedly , drew a key . It looked like an old skeleton key and the center was shaped like a heart .
I dare to say that what lives within my heart is key to freeing myself from the box .
Walking swiftly past a person clinging to thread bare clothes . Slow your steps a bit this time and see in the mirror . It’s another version of you . The bank card in your wallet or purse opens doors for you and well deserved , we know . The man , woman or child holding the sign that reads ” Please help ” has entered a place , perhaps , foreign to you . A wrong step and all support is gone if it was ever there at all .
Human to human and heart to heart . It goes by in a flash .
Forgive the person huddled and hand outstretched and forgive yourself if you can’t understand .