Category Archives: Trust

Circumstances

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A dance with changing circumstances ,

a drain or a lift ? A reestablishment of sense of self and finding one’s footing once

again.

Not for the faint of heart yet as we move through that which we fear in time it

is transformed into the familiar .

A dance with identity perceived by the inner self and interpretations of how we think

the world views us .

It’s the perceptions that we hold onto with fierceness can cause the most discomfort .

Is it habit or real ? If it is habit that doesn’t make it any less real .

Dancing through circumstances may feel more like trudging through mud in moments

of fear …all it takes is one moment and then you feel like your home and the comfort is

real .

Does a Soul Choose …

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A new life arrives . She is given away . Is the first experience of this life one of trauma ? Aside from the one of leaving a safe womb does the separation from her beginnings of life impact her sense of comfort and trust ?

She is born with a trusting heart no matter the circumstances . She loves deeply , so deeply that it surprises even her .

Welcomed into a home , into a family , that wants to be what it is not . There is love . There is love that battles within itself and with it’s own brokenness . Her love , in innocence , rises to the surface in moments of celebration . Like when she awakens first thing every morning , before opening her eyes , then is a joyous smile across her face. Did her soul choose to know the indescribable ache while also choosing to carry a joy filled heart and an ever replenishing trust ? The brokenness of the family integrated more trauma into her original wound and in quietness she finds a healer , herself . Did her soul choose ?

And in her quietness she sometimes dreams of knowing wholeness . Enchanted by the sight of the moon and the stars she finds a sense of rootedness in them . And when she is near water and it’s powerful timelessness then she feels held by the breath of all life past , present and future .

Giving Birth to a New USA

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On the very day that we laid to rest one of our  greatest human rights leaders of our time this :

I am a mom to a compassionate ,  intelligent young woman .  Her kind and giving heart stands up for injustices against those with less privilege  . People  that suffer because of having  less privileges  and opportunities  simply because of the color of their skin .  I am of the same heart  and mind as my daughter .  Since early in my youth I have felt the call to stand up for human rights , protesting peacefully , writing  letters to legislators , volunteering  and …listening .  And today my daughter faced the ugliness of hatred  because  of her values and principles   . She has Black Lives Matter written on the  back window of her car . She has other pro human rights sentiments  on her window as well .

Today , of all days ,  someone  chose to threaten her life because of it . A man chose to follow her off of a freeway exit , he sped up along side of her and turned  his vehicle inwards towards  her car  as if to ram her and to force her off of the road .  A life threatening action that could  have been catastrophe with   irreversible results .  And all because he did not like her opinions . He violently opposed her  values . His risked her  life as well the lives of others by his actions .

Here we are America . Threatening each other  over human rights . Over what it means to be considered a human being .  Wiling to end another persons life because she or he stands up for social justice .  It’s time to give birth to a new USA .

The process is painful .  My hope is that what is taking place now with the violence against peaceful protests and individuals  is like the birthing process .  It is  a struggle . It is painful and it is violent . And at the other side of it a more just , equitable  and compassionate country .

The people fighting against the changes have caught the disease of hatred and fear . Desperation  has taken hold of them .  They are entangled within their own chains . How might we set them free from the hate ?

In the darkness of such hate we must be the light .  Carry a peaceful heart and in the words of Mr.Lewis ” make  good trouble ” .

 

 

Tears are Not Enough . Period .

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Born white and free

and

in ways i did not see .

Until I became a latch key child  .

As I grew I rebelled against the white cocoon

and paid a price for it .

Not as dear  though as the price paid by African Americans

to simply live .

Or rather …not to live .

What good are my tears for you ? I must use my voice and body to join with yours .

Lead me through this battle with you

and

lets make lasting change .

Come Back

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Come back . Come back to the trust in your heart .  Remember  a moment when your heart was repelled by hate and all you wanted was the feeling of home . The feeling of being loved in spite of hard times . The feeling that somehow it is all going to be fine .

Come back . Come back to the truth that you care . Have you been hidden from compassion because fear made you chase circles of lies  ? It’s ok to put down the fear and to feel what’s real.

Come back to all humanity and be free .

The Gift of an Eagle

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Late afternoon sun inspiring a drive to the water’s edge  .  The  coolness in the air nearly stopped a walk on the beach .  It was a day that could have been early spring or  fall .  The light from the sun was diffused  by clouds and yet also giving a comforting warmth in the breezes .

I stopped at a bench and sat for a bit .  It was low tide though the water seemed to be coming back in . Small waves on top of small waves and the light shimmering and dancing along the water’s surface . Looking out and looking in as I sometimes call it .  Looking beyond the day’s events and freeing one’s mind .

It was just then that I noticed a bird sitting atop of a piling , exposed by low tide ,  out in the water .  Looking more intently  I reared that it wasn’t just any bird but rather an Eagle . I remained for a bit longer .  I began hoping that I’d get to witness his flight and just as I stood up to go this wonderful bird took flight  from his perch .

He soared with such grace and beauty .  I stood watching , taking it in , and whispering ” thank you .”

Trusting the Uncertainty

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Early evening standing near the shore and watching the water rolling in .  It feels like an act of witnessing , simply witnessing  , on this very fine night .  Occasional  bits of life  from the Sea or man left on the sand .  Will it be natural or will it be a harm ?

Early evening standing near the shore , feeling the strength of the Sea , and inviting myself to step back from the outer bits of life that call to  us to be small . There is freedom in a roar and peace as it recedes .

Not knowing what will be discovered as the depths of the living spirit rise to the surface but giving the uncertainty to trust is freedom as well . It is wise  to move towards the unknowing since that is where the boundaries are released and heartfelt exploration takes place .