Where is the next step ?  Going on exploratory trips inside the mind and the emotions and expecting an answer . The anchors are few and seem related only to material and practical parameters .  Why ? Why is the clarity  so elusive ?  Seeking change and not knowing where it is .  All the while placing the burden of healing underneath the desire for change .  Will the change create the opening  for healing to continue , to expand ?

Thinking that the lack of clarity was simply tied into some universal timing . Reminding myself that acceptance is a powerful tool rather than pure passivity .  That giving oneself over to acceptance  can actually bring freedom  . Freedom that brings action . And onward we go !

Still feeling as if caught inside of a struggle  somehow and yet so close to knowing .  Knowing what to do next .  I stood at the water’s edge , looking out , and feeling a chill .  The sky was filled with  shades of grey  blue hues and dramatic movement . Far off it look to be restless and  stormy .

Then a thought came .  It is I that is holding back the change .  It is , both , fear and comfort .  It is I that is holding onto what is  already known rather than embracing the unknown .  It is within  my heart and within my thoughts that keeps me still … for now anyway .