I stayed too long in my cozy bed .  And today became  strongly up and down with emotions  and I thought it was just fine and then I ventured out .  Creating a todo list in my head and deciding the order of things  too while reminding myself that there wasn’t  any hurry . It’s not like before I thought …again and again .  So off for a walk I went and arriving at the trail’s entrance  was, nearly , startled to find  the street lined with parked cars .  So many  people , is it too many I wondered ?  I secured my cloth mask  and began walking . It was sunny with a breeze and not too many  people walking .  Relief and  purpose returned to my mind . Good I thought after a two mile  walk and now off to the store .

After  arriving  at the store,  having found a parking spot , I paused before going inside .  I noticed the people  coming and going and mostly wearing masks .  Thank goodness i thought .  There were only a few items on the list  in my head but important ones like water and rice and cat food  .  For the several  days the entire section of rice had been empty .  Several long , expansive shelves empty of product .  It was the first section that I went to and … it was still empty .  I stood for a few moment staring .  Ok I thought and took a deep breath onward to the next item .  The bottled water that I had come to appreciate  for it’s quality , price and even  it’s packaging  was next on my list .  I turned down the aisle for water and could see the shelf was empty .  I walked closer .  Yup . cleared out .  Feeling a bit defeated now I gathered  my thoughts and continued onward .   Cat food . There on the shelf was some cat food that my senior cat would eat .  Deep exhale and noticing a sense of sadness  moving towards  into my thrust . I push it away .

I check out with my one item and head back towards my car .  I unlock the car , get in , and suddenly I feel the tears arrive .  I sit weeping and say to myself ” I know it’s not just the empty rice shelf . I know it’s so much more than that .”  But the empty rice shelf bring me to tears .