I stayed too long in my cozy bed . And today became strongly up and down with emotions and I thought it was just fine and then I ventured out . Creating a todo list in my head and deciding the order of things too while reminding myself that there wasn’t any hurry . It’s not like before I thought …again and again . So off for a walk I went and arriving at the trail’s entrance was, nearly , startled to find the street lined with parked cars . So many people , is it too many I wondered ? I secured my cloth mask and began walking . It was sunny with a breeze and not too many people walking . Relief and purpose returned to my mind . Good I thought after a two mile walk and now off to the store .
After arriving at the store, having found a parking spot , I paused before going inside . I noticed the people coming and going and mostly wearing masks . Thank goodness i thought . There were only a few items on the list in my head but important ones like water and rice and cat food . For the several days the entire section of rice had been empty . Several long , expansive shelves empty of product . It was the first section that I went to and … it was still empty . I stood for a few moment staring . Ok I thought and took a deep breath onward to the next item . The bottled water that I had come to appreciate for it’s quality , price and even it’s packaging was next on my list . I turned down the aisle for water and could see the shelf was empty . I walked closer . Yup . cleared out . Feeling a bit defeated now I gathered my thoughts and continued onward . Cat food . There on the shelf was some cat food that my senior cat would eat . Deep exhale and noticing a sense of sadness moving towards into my thrust . I push it away .
I check out with my one item and head back towards my car . I unlock the car , get in , and suddenly I feel the tears arrive . I sit weeping and say to myself ” I know it’s not just the empty rice shelf . I know it’s so much more than that .” But the empty rice shelf bring me to tears .