I can still hear her voice , kindly yet firm , reminding me to be aware of my posture.

The initial pain , after she was gone , felt like a  sucker punch to the gut .  How did I not see it coming ?   I had , after all , been holding her hand  , listening to her accounts of visions in the night  and even changing her diapers .

Accepting my grief for what it was , without boundaries , was one lesson that needed learning . Later on came learning how to live  and welcome new beginnings.