It was easy for me to lose sight of my mother’s courage. She turned to me frequently for my opinions and advice during our years together. When I was young, I misunderstood her insightful and sensitive soul and chose to see her as unusually needy.
As I grew older, I sometimes reviewed in my mind, the many challenges that she had been given in her life. I was in awe of her accomplishments and her willingness to make changes. It was difficult to understand how this courageous, intelligent woman could also be so sensitive and vulnerable.
I had been conducting myself with the idea that courage meant hiding from my own vulnerabilities. Intellectually I knew that wasn’t true, but living that truth was not something I easily embraced.
The process of escorting my mother through her end of life, witnessing both her courage and vulnerabilities intertwined, gave me pause to consider, who would I become in her absence ? I began to experience an opening within myself, allowing the full force of my own courage and vulnerabilities to become intertwined while moving through me and outward into action and creative expression.